Friday, March 11, 2005

Captain & Tennille, Death & Destruction

Che schifo! I just saw/heard the most schifoso thing ever while walking through the Nyugati underground: Gypsies on synthesizers! EEW! Dear God, why? It was like Gypsies meet Captain & Tennille. I was already sick from too much wine, babgulya (code word for those funny cigarettes), and beer last night, and now this. I wanted to take a picture because it was too disgusting to be believed, but Zsolti has my camera right now. Why ignore your people's rich musical heritage and do something so,...synthesized? But is this like assuming that all black people are good basketball players? Maybe. (For the record, I love my Gypsy brothers and sisters.)

Today I did something BIG. It was painful and scary, but it was the right thing to do. I got free of someone. If I didn't feel so crappy, I would feel great.

Why is it so hard to extricate ourselves from bad relationships? Why does it feel like it requires every bit of courage you have and then some that you don't have-- courage that you have to trust will just show up. I see my girlfriends who have left relationships and my heart wells up with admiration at how brave they had to be. The Economist (not the totally awesome political magazine, but the totally awesome political girlfriend) calls the initial real dirty break-up stuff "Death & Destruction." It's nasty business.

But it also opens the door for possibility.

I don't know what my possibilities are. But I know a few certainties: I'm going to check my bag, even though it's qualified as a carry-on, even though I have to wait a few minutes at baggage claim, because I don't like schlepping it through the airport and on the plane with me. I'm going to wear wrinkled pants from time to time. I'm not going to date any three-year olds who are in disguise as fifty-eight year olds. I'm not going to date someone who cannot remember the names of my best friends. I'm not going to drive in a car when the whole reason why I moved to cities like Savannah and Budapest is so I could walk. I'm going to sleep as late as I want to when I'm on holiday and not feel bad about it. I'm going to order dessert from room service, even though it's more expensive, because eating cake in bed in a hotel is fun.


At 9:44 PM, Blogger svm said...

good for you! is this right on course the six-year plan? ;)

At 12:18 AM, Blogger Irma Vep said...

Well-- yes! Although I don't exactly have my own six year plan right now. (Again, we want to rigorously avoid "five year plans"
as they are much too reminiscent of Russian peasantry executed en masse,...) I have more of a latter-part-of-March-plan. What about you? Have you made your syp?

At 9:12 PM, Blogger svm said...

like you, i dont have a serious plan but i am working towards pulling up the anchors in atlanta, such as divesting myself of the radio show--i will miss it but its time!


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